If you follow my blog posts regularly or every now and then, you’ve probably caught on to the fact that sometimes I do a little ‘anomaly’ of a post, shall we say. Whilst my blog is focused on the subject of fashion, I often use this platform in order to vent or express any feelings I find is impossible to release in any other way. I have always found comfort and ease in getting my points across via the written word – I often get tongue tied when I’m being physically vocal and therefore frustrated at myself. Alas, here I am at midnight unable to sleep with a subject in particular circulating my ever-so-awake little brain. Loneliness.
I always feel like a hypocrite when I speak about the digital age in a negative tone. It’s almost as if I am contradicting myself in the most blatant way – I am literally expressing these thoughts and feelings via the internet. Therefore I will do the usual disclaimer – I appreciate the revolution that is the World Wide Web as it has provided me with endless opportunities. I indulge in it everyday, like many people my age, and I think that it’s truly remarkable that we are constantly connected. But I recently stopped and thought, maybe that’s the problem.
Being an introvert never helps when you get the loneliness bug. I can be more outgoing on some days more than others – it’s pretty hard to predict, annoyingly. But I’ve come to realise that maybe we are so connected to the point that communication feels so much less urgent. Urgency is a thing of the past – more or less everybody has a phone almost constantly at their fingertips, so if you need to get hold of someone for whatever reason, it can definitely wait until later. They’re not going anywhere.
But what happens when this perspective becomes your permanent state of mind? Close friends are soon just a little icon on your friends list that hasn’t been clicked for quite a while. It’s a pretty toxic system, one that feeds stubbornness. Communication is a two way street, so when two communicators are both too stubborn to send the first message, it’s pretty much inevitable that that potential message will merely stay unsent. No conversation to be had, after all.
Anxiety and similar emotions that come with it doesn’t help with this whole scenario at all. I always feel as if I need a specific reason to speak to someone, even if I consider them my best friend. However, I always feel like I may as well write ‘BURDEN’ across my forehead in permanent marker. It’s a feeling I’m used to, but it does fucking suck.
So that leads to my initial point. Are we really as connected as we think? Without realising, many of us have fallen into the habit of replacing face-to-face interaction with virtual interaction, and then wonder why we feel so lonely, isolated or distant from the ones we once felt so connected with.
This was just a little ramble of a few thoughts I’ve been having lately. I doubt it even makes sense; there was no structure to it at all… But I really appreciate it if you took the time to read!
Until next time,
Thanks for Reading | Lucy Violet x